Swwwwweeeet Soooouuullll

This little gurl had an epiphany this weekend...that it was ok to love again.  And it came in a most unusual form...a four legged kind...she was at a shelter per se and on a whim we walked in just to look.  I have never been a dog person. NEVER.  I have never been a cat person...until 3 years ago.  And now I am slowly slipping into furry oblivious love.  The family that I came into 5 years ago had an older dog named Ray...Ray dog.  And Ray dog was just that a dog.  Nothing fancy to me (or so I thought).  This summer we had to have Ray put to sleep.  it was difficult.  I thought that i could do this with no muss and no fuss...but the day before the true realization hit I was in tears.  (that should of been an indicator).  On the day of Ray dogs home coming I was on my knees with him in the vets office..telling him that it was ok and that we loved him...and Thank you Thank you Thank you...over and over again.  Fast forward to Saturday and Freckles...she is a bully/pit mix with the sweetest eyes...  We saw each other and realized that it was love.  And I still want her today.  But I can't have her.  Again I was on the floor with this pup in the midst of a adoption shelter at a teeming mall at Christmas rush sobbing because I knew that this dog was mine in heart and soul.  And she still is mine...though I can't have her.  And it hurts and I am empty but I know that it is ok to love it is ok to give it is ok ... I wish I had a happy ending to this and that Freckles was coming home with me...but it's not.  And I am ok for once my Sweet Soul is ok.  One more pain makes me more real more ready more lovely..