The Orange Bracelet/Mean Girls

I realized something today..that is is ok to not be in with everybody. People are going to be petty people are going to be small. And to be honest it happens more with women than with men. Especially in a small environment where you are stuck in a 9 to 5 survival mode. I don't get it. I really don't. All are equal. I choose not to be deferential in my treatment of the team. Nor do I need to parade it in front of others~ I can quietly give , quietly love, quietly be true to my self. That makes all the difference in the world. To be honest my pride and ego were smarting. I wanted to be in the *in* crowd and have my own orange bracelet too! We all want to belong. But then I realized I don't have to earn their favor. I can be sufficient and  love them no matter what. The little girl in me was hurting...but the big girl in me is saying hey it is just a mean thing...overcome it with love. Mean People Suck. It is ok you change things with love and boundaries. And you better believe the next time they ask for something I will think twice...I still wonder what went wrong if the negative spirit of the departed N has poisoned people. What is sad is people think that they really know me...they really don't. I am loyal. Truthful. Honest. And I don't take crap from any one anymore. I work hard. And those who are positive are drawn to positive. Those who are negative and have an angle are drawn together. If you can't keep a confidence then I will write you off. I was burned. Badly. And now. Picking up the pieces I am stronger better...more sure. 

 

OH MY GOD

when is trust is finally shattered. beyond repair. and you know it at that 3 am time in the morning and you know you cant get it around it where do you go. i am at a loss. a huge loss. a hole in my stomach wanting to throw up loss. but at the same time i have direction strong. sadness for the loss but more sure and anger at what i have wasted and compromised and mad that i had wasted so much for so little...

Buddy

O.A.R. - Rhythm of Your Shoes